I am on the adventure of a lifetime.
After surviving the isolation of the pandemic, losing my coaching business, and going on a 2 yr journey of brain health recovery, my marriage of 28 years broke down. Now since June 1st, I have been homeless. You can watch the video below for a full update.
The other morning, I went out on the porch of my current housesit. The sun was spreading its soft rays over the water and birds were singing and flying about. Just as I sat down to start journalling, 2 small birds flew together simultaneously into the sliding glass door. Ooopphh!
The birds had been playing and flying in circles together. One of them rebounded easily and flew back out into the trees. The other sat stunned on the porch. I watched it turn its little head and see its bird friend flying away alone.
I approached the little bird and picked it up in my hand. I brought it over to my chair and stroked its head. Then I cupped it and held it to my breast. Holding it close to my heart, I felt very tender and teary-eyed. Reiki passed through my hands for about 7 minutes. Then I stroked it some more, feeling its little round body.
I knew the bird going to be okay. It did seem to appreciate being held to my breast and nurtured. I placed it on my shoulder. The little bird began to slide down my arm, then found its footing, then flew off!
This song, Falling and Flying, I wrote in 1995; the year that Reuben and I were married. I think I was channeling the fullness, beauty complexity, and karma of the freeing (and blinding) nature of love.
It’s a power song. May it bring healing, awakening and energy into your day.
Here are the lyrics:
Falling and Flying
Falling and falling in love
Falling and falling in love
Reaching again for your love
How could I have forgotten, it was there?
You took my hand and we jumped
And we were falling, and falling until I looked behind
I saw we had wings to fly – fly on the breeze.
A soft warm breeze came flowing by
And we were flying, flying, flying in love.
We didn’t know what we’d made
When we were flying so high on one of those days
Reaching again for your love
Can I live, when I’ve made this mistake?
Falling and falling in love
Falling and falling, falling in love.
Here we are, two birds in flight again
Oh can you help me ‘cause my wing is broken
It’s the pain of some old shame
And I don’t need it anymore
Hey-ya Hey ya Hey ya Hey-ya Hey-ya Hey ya Hey—ahh..
I want to fly in freedom.
I’m still putting original songs up on Soundcloud. You can go here to hear them all anytime!
- watch the video below for my healing journey update
Friends, my recovery has taken quite a twist. After recovering enough to start sleeping 7 hours per night, starting to be able to drive and socialize again, starting to go to community events, being able to fully cook and clean house again and even starting to sing with some friends once a week, it became clear in April that my relationship with Reuben was no longer supporting my recovery, as you know.
When I suggested we separate, he was relieved and mobilized immediately. This led to a very accelerated physical separation process. We basically did everything in 6 weeks!
Reuben began to focus fully on his own healing journey and I was flung out of our “marriage nest” to face the world and my brand new life alone. Unfortunately, the first home I landed in was too damp and I had to get out fast. This landed me with no home in a very tight and difficult rental market. I couldn’t go back to Reuben because he needed space and I was no longer feeling welcome.
I have had to do so many things since June 1st that I never knew I could do. I have kept the faith in my heart that I am being prepared for an amazing new life: what life looks like when being recovered from Limbic System Impairment (LSI).
I have had to take care of car repairs, storage unit doors not opening, figuring out people’s gadgets and gardens in several homes where I have now housesat, dealing with extreme heat, figuring out where to eat lunch, where to bathe, where to clean my teeth, fixing broken things, eating and cooking for myself, and facing the terrible loneliness of the separation no matter how right the decision was.
In this video, you can glean a fuller update. I am asking for continued support in this GOFUNDME campaign because my finances are not stable and neither is my health.
As I enter what I am calling my “2nd Wave” of recovery. I am feeling hopeful about my future and also very raw and tender from all the change and uncertainty. I need to continue my DNRS, Lois Laynee Restorative Breathing, Cranial Nerve Therapy, and Myofunctional Dental Work (I’ve got wires in my mouth and another couple years to go) plus local support such as acupuncture and bodywork. As soon as I stabilize with housing, I will be able to focus again on my daily recovery. For right now it’s a roof over my head, food on the table, and bed to sleep in.
I am trying to write for 10 minutes every morning to capture this journey because I think it will make a really good and important book and I don’t want to forget the details later. So I promise to keep you in the loop.
Thank you for following my healing journey!